The funny things you hear in the classroom!

So during my student teaching, my kids said some pretty funny things that I just had to write down. I thought I would keep track of them and share them with others when I gathered a few. Here are a few funny things that my 3rd graders said:

1.
Girl: Miss. C, My rat died from a bladder infection.

2.
Me: You kids will be using multiplication for the rest of your lives so it is important that you memorize it now.
Boy: No, we won't have to use it after we are married.

3.
Girl: Miss. C, are you married?
Me: No, not yet.
Girl: Oh gosh, that is really sad!

4.
After a family emergency happened to my master teacher and the students regular teacher, I explained to the class that their teacher was sad and needed some time off. One kid raised his hand and said
Boy: Maybe if one of the parents had a lot of money, they could just buy her a corvette and she would feel all better.

5.
Girl: My mom said that some moms are just really lazy and they use school as a free daycare. (This was a random comment she wanted to share during a math lesson)

6.
Boy: Miss C. are you a Miss. or a Mrs.?
Me: I am a Miss.
Boy: Oh yeah, I forgot you aren't even married yet.
Girl: That's okay Miss. C. You are so beautiful, you don't even need to get married.

7.
I was talking to the kids about family traditions and what they meant. I told them that one day I would be able to share traditions with my own children and one boy blurted out-
Boy: No! What if you die when you are 30 because someone killed you?
Girl(says to boy): Don't say that! Miss. C is nice!

8.
The girls wrote "boys stink" on the board and one boy said, "I don't understand why girls say that.. Don't they know they will marry one of them one day? :)

9.
After I introduced the kids to writing in cursive one boy raised his hand and said, "Miss. C, can you speak in cursive?" I was very tempted to say yes and blend all my word together.

10.
(Another one about me not being married)
Girl: Miss C. You need to get married before you get ugly!

11.
Girl: My mom drinks this special tea at night that makes her loose 5 lbs in one night!

12.
girl: Miss. C, do you want me to hook you up with someone?
Me: No thanks,I have a boyfriend.
boy: What is hooking up? Miss C? Can you tell me what that is?
Me: Lets move on!

13.
One day I went out to watch the kids at recess when all of a sudden 6 of my students flocked to me and followed me as I walked around the playground. A kid from another class ran up to me to tell on someone and one of my students yelled at the kid saying, "She isn't just an ordinary yard duty! She is our teacher!"(I felt so proud! )

14.
Boy 1: Ouch! You hit me in the boob
Boy 2: Boys don't have boobs, they have nipples.
Girl: Oh! My dad has those!

Some things that my kindergarten students said

15.
Me: Joseph, you need to get your stuff because you are leaving for an appointment. Are you sick?
Joseph: Yeah, I am going to the dentist because I have a cough.

16.
I was just about to start video taping a lesson to turn in for my TPA when a boy said, " Miss. Clarendon, my armpits feel cold!

17.
Boy: It hurts really bad when I try to poop.

18:
An autistic boy in our class was holding my hand as I walked the class up to lunch. All of a sudden I felt a finger a finger follow the seam in the middle of the butt of my pants. Quite a surprise!